I am in love with New York City. Unequivocally, head-over-heels, in love with it.
It’s one of the few places I feel at home. One of the few places I feel in stride with myself and the world around me.
Where I am from, where I grew up (at least the circles I have known), there is a certain expectation of sociability and belonging. Almost as if to be a likable, well respected person, you must have a group of friends, or a church group, a book club, a football spirit team, etc. that you belong to.
Being a loner is a little more weird. In fact it many times can be seen as rude, unwise, odd.
But in New York City it has almost the opposite feeling. As if everyone is a loner, everyone is expected to be responsible for themselves. So, sitting in a cafe eating lunch by yourself might seem more part of the norm, than the pitiable perspective that is more common in my home.
Whether by birth or by experience, I’m quite the creature of solitude. You might not think this upon meeting me. And if you knew me in my childhood and teenage years, you might not believe it at all.
I think years of caring so much about what other people think about me, made me determined to avoid anything and everything that could garner judgment. Therefore, that solitude I craved was something I felt I needed to avoid along with a host of other things.
Getting older and meeting special humans (like my husband) who have urged more authentic living, has helped me fully give into this side of myself, and boy does it feel good.
I love people, I really do. But in order to really think I have to be alone, and I think a lot.
So basically, NYC is my dream place. It’s full of energy, full of possibility, like there is something new to be seen around every corner. But it’s one place I can be allowed my alone time without anyone giving it a sad glance, let alone noticing it at all.
Ahhhh precious anonymity.
Any other lone wolves out there? How do you handle your loner nature? And do you ever feel out of place where you live too?
P.S. These pics are from my trip to NYC earlier this October (Hence my still pink hair). We went to celebrate my baby sister’s 16th birthday (She’s the one I’m hugging in the above pic) and had a blast doing so. I’m already missing the city but look forward to visiting it again. 🙂