I’m a huge fan of a winter crop top look, and this one is made up of some of my favorite pieces. The coat is the warmest coat I own, and therefore my favorite. And the jeans are from my January Stitch Fix shipment. I’m obviously obsessed with these heels as of late, and the crop top? It’s just a sports bra.
Anyway, I was thinking about how I know a lot of people who would totally dislike this outfit on me, and who wouldn’t mind letting me know it. And I know this because, well, they do it all the time.
You see, my whole like I’ve been told HOW I look pretty.
Here are a few examples:
“You look pretty with your hair pulled up.”
“You’re the most beautiful when you wear your hair down.”
“Wow! You look so beautiful since you lost weight!”
“I prefer you brunette. You look best as a brunette.”
“You’re prettiest when you dress classically.”
“This blonde hair is MUCH prettier on you than your pink hair was.”
“I’m so glad your hair is long again. It’s pretty on you. Not like when you shaved half your head. Yuck.”
Ahhh. Such comments can make a girl swoon. I mean these people might as well have gotten down on one knee.
Not too long ago I received one of these unsolicited gems and I guess it was the long day I had, or maybe because I was kind of hungry, or maybe I just got sick of it but I responded with, “Thanks for giving me the opinion I didn’t ask for,” while gently patting the person on the back.
Ok, I admit it was a little rude of me. But after years of hearing these kinds of phrases you can get a little worn out.
I mean who wants to hear the stipulations on their beauty? Why can’t I just be pretty as-is? I mean, isn’t my beauty a bit more deep than all that? Doesn’t it really come from my heart, not my hair or clothing or shape?
And here’s something else: I’m not some paper doll whose sole existence is for others to dress up as they like. I’m an individual with a soul and a mind. And I offer far more than my looks. In fact I’m not sure my looks can really do much at all for this world. But my mind and my heart can. I can love people, encourage people, I can stand up for what’s right, I can offer a helping hand to someone who might need it. That is what I offer. But my looks? They can go away in an instant, and will go away over time. But my soul? It’s transcendent.
If you too have been a target of other peoples ridiculous and small-minded physical criticisms, I hope you realize today you aren’t alone. And I hope you remember too that your soul is what matters. Therefore my friend, dress however you damn well please.
-Crop Top/Sports Bra (similar option here) — Zella
-Sweater Duster Coat (similar option here) — Treasure & Bond
-Jeans (via Stitch Fix) — Hudson
-Heels (similar option here) — Jeffrey Campbell
-Choker Necklace (similar option here) — Vanessa Mooney