I’ve always wanted to try a sexy blazer, and putting together a Valentine’s blazer look for date night was the perfect excuse for me to try one. For some reason I was afraid it would be too boxy or shapeless but I kind of like the structure it provides. Those clean lines make it interesting and gave me some feelings of empowerment, which I’m always wanting in my clothing.
The simple touch of wearing the blazer as-is takes it to that sexy, chic level — perfect for a night out with your honey. But it would be just as perfect for a night out with friends or even by yourself. Which can be just as fun, and in some cases, even more so.
I’ll never forget the freedom and confidence I found in being single after a particularly bad breakup in my very early 20s. My boyfriend and best friend had run off together and I was left feeling like trash. “I must be trash,” I thought. Why else would two people who had meant so much to me do something like that if I weren’t the kind of person worth losing.
But after some love from friends and family I started snapping out of that thinking and for the first time in my young adult life I was having fun sans any guy. Up until that point I had flitted from one guy to the next. You know how it is at that age. And each guy had left me feeling worse and worse about myself. I knew how to pick them. And I didn’t know how to respect myself…yet.
But man there is nothing like being ditched by your boyfriend for your best friend that can start to put a bad taste in your mouth for men.
I suddenly realized just how unhappy the male gender had made me thus far. If they were mature they were misogynistic and if they weren’t misogynistic they were immature. Sometimes they were the delightful combination of the two! Did I mention I knew how to pick them?
Anyway, during this phase of newly found freedom and confidence I enjoyed regular coffee dates with a girlfriend, weekend shopping trips to garage and estate sales, I goofed off with my siblings and quit worrying about looking cool. I wore bikinis when I was bloated and I fixed myself up all sexy-like for weddings, purposefully rejected any attention I got from male wedding attendees. Ahhh it was a glorious time. Talk about a feeling of empowerment!
And it would have lasted much longer I’m sure, but unbeknownst to me it was all about to be turned on its head.
I was throwing a Halloween party that year with a girlfriend of mine. I had this cute witch costume picked out and I felt hot but was of course, relishing not wanting or needing to have a boyfriend, when my future husband (literally) walked through the door. What was he doing there? I mean, I hadn’t even invited him! Oh well, he was easy on the eyes. But much too smooth to be good news. He always knew what to say and was so confident. I thought surely this guy was a heart breaker.
So I steered clear, only sharing a couple words with the guy. And then, after the party was over and everyone had gone home I got a text from an unknown number. It was Josiah (aka future husband) and he was asking me if we could hang out some time.
I picked up my little flip phone (Because yes! I’m that old!) and started to text back a big, fat “no!” But after some debate with myself (plus a girlfriend who thought I was being a bit crazy), I texted back:
“I’m not really wanting a relationship right now. We can hang as friends I guess, but that’s all.”
Ha! Josiah responded with a snarky text back (as snark is perhaps his second language) and the rest is history.
That “just friends” business was never going to work. But not because my resolve as a self-possessed, self-respecting young woman waned. But because josiah was my soul mate. And there’s no denying that kind of stuff. Try as you might (and oh, believe you me I tried! I’m a stubborn little turd like that) when you realize you’ve become Even more free, more confident, more self-respecting BECAUSE of them, that’s when you know. That’s when it’s magic.
No person is your soulmate if they treat you like trash. I realize I might be stepping on some toes here, but listen: if you feel worse about yourself, more insecure BECAUSE of how they treat you (as it was with all my ex-boyfriends) it is not magic. They are not your soulmate, k? I love you too much to not remind you of this. And heck you might have already found this magic and I’m just shouting at the wind! But hey, I think it’s something worth shouting about.
Love to you,
-Blazer (here) — Mural
-Jeans (here) — Treasure & Bond
-Heels (similar option here) — Steve Madden
-Earrings (here) — Gorjana